Reviewed by Johnny McNair 

Warner Home Video – 109 minutes – 2008 – Rated PG-13 – 1080p Widescreen 2.40:1 – Dolby TrueHD 5.1 Audio Mix – Digital Copy

It’s very hard to watch the film 10,000 BC and not wonder if the filmmakers were serious or is this some sort of spoof. Roland Emmerich, the director of 1998’s disastrous Godzilla movie now attempts make cavemen the bad-ass heroes of his latest adventure film, but ends up making a flick that resembles something out of Mystery Science Theater 2000. Joke or not, 10,000 BC roped in over $250 million worldwide at the box office, so if this was a prank Emmerich is laughing all the way to the bank. For those of you who are curious, 10,000 BC is available from Warner Home Video on hi-definition Blu-ray, and if you ever wondered what a pack of CGI woolly mammoths would look like, this is the flick for you.

THE MOVIE

10,000 BC obviously takes place many, many, many, many years ago when the invention of fire was just as big as the Internet is for us today. A tribe of cavemen, (ok, to be politically correct, cave people) believe that a foretelling saying that a mighty warrior and his mate will save all of them all from ultimate annihilation will soon become true. Right on cue, they are then attacked by an enemy tribe; triggering the foreseen warrior, D’Leh (Steven Strait) to take action and fight. The plot thickens when D’Leh’s woman Evolet, (Camilla Belle), is taken prisoner by the enemy, sending him on a quest to rescue her and defeat the enemy. And of course D’Leh and Evolet save their tribe because the prophecy in the opening scene already told us this.

If you seen Mel Gibson’s film Apocalypto, then you’ve already seen a better version of this film, which though different in terms of history, does share similar plot structures. The main problem with 10,000 BC that separates it from Apocalypto is that it’s filled with inaccuracies. Instead of sticking with basic historical elements about pre-historic man, 10,000 BC plays out like a big budget episode of the Krofft Super Show from the 70’s. Hey, I’m no historian, but I’m pretty sure that during this timeline people of different ethnicities didn’t all hang out together in a tribe, or for that matter were even aware the others existed.

Director Roland Emmerich has already demonstrated through his past films (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) that action is much more important than characters and realistic situations. Having the cave woman, Evolet, wearing lipstick and a form fitted outfit to show off her curves proves this. But in his favor, if you’re just desiring to see an film with cave people kicking ass, then there’s a lot of well done action scenes to keep you going.

Emmerich’s films usually always have flashy special effects, and 10,000 BC follows the mold. Some of the effects are great and will act as show off material to be played at your local Best Buy to get you to purchase HDTV’s and Blu-ray players. The pack of mammoths marching across the screen, and the action packed finale will keep your attention, but when it’s over, as the saying goes “out of sight….out of mind.” There’s nothing original or memorable, because the film is just a montage of scenes that we’ve seen in a dozen other movies from The Road Warrior to Return of the Jedi.

With its PG-13 rating, though there are acts of violence, it’s kid friendly; so if you’re pumped up on sugary snacks, the little ones who watch this may have a blast. But besides the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey, no film has ever really done the pre-historic man story well. Just look at examples like Quest for Fire and Clan of the Cave Bear; this is not an easy genre to make audiences accept it. Overall, 10,000 BC has its moments, but then are parts that are so silly that it really becomes hard to digest. If you’ve haven’t seen it in the theater, rent it first to see if it’s tolerable. If not may I recommend the 80’s Neanderthal comedy starring Ringo Star called Caveman. Unlike 10,000 BC, Caveman’s laughs are intentional.

VIDEO

What 10,000 BC lacks in storytelling, it makes up for tenfold with its image quality. Offering a 1080p picture and 2.40:1 aspect ration, this movie shines on an HDTV, mainly because it’s a new movie and it’s flowered with CGI effects. The picture is so razor sharp that in some scenes it’s as if you’re staring out of a window. The flesh tones have been perfectly tweaked, and the blacks are solid with very little grain. The only issue that with the image is that it’s so sharp that some of the visual effects look more cartoon-ish than photo-realistic, but if you’re 8 years old you really won’t care.

SOUND

This film is gold for audio lovers who demand only the best pumping out of their speakers. With a Dolby TrueHD 5.1 lossless sound mix, you’ll feel every giant step of the mammoths in your room, so turn up those subwoofers. Some may think that the movie sounds more like a videogame than a film, but with its simplistic plot and un-memorable characters, you will appreciate the great sound that covers up all the flaws. This is a loud movie, especially during the climax, so if you’ve got the sound system to show it off, 10,000 BC delivers.

EXTRAS

The selection of extras leaves a lot to be desired, not even offering an audio commentary. And for some reason, all of the bonus features are in standard definition. Maybe Warner is planning to double dip?

‘Inspiring an Epic’ is a 12 minute piece that talks about the origins of 10,000 BC, including works that inspired it, such as Graham Hancock’s book.

‘A Wild and Wooly Ride’ runs 13 minutes and takes a look at the visual effects that were created for the film. This is a simple segment that just shows you a few tricks and it’s over.

Ten deleted scenes also pad the disc out for another 15 minutes, including an alternative ending. Like most deleted scenes it’s obvious why most of this stuff was omitted, and the alternative ending will be forgotten as soon as it ends.

For those of you who want to see this caveman epic on the go, a digital copy is included to show off on your fancy new iPhone’s.

BOTTOM LINE

10,000 BC was trying to be the next big thing, but collapses like a wounded woolly mammoth after being struck in the head with a spear. It’s only true entertainment value is its unintentional laughs and inaccuracies that you can play a drinking game while picking out. As a Blu-ray it stands strong with superb picture and sound quality, but slaps that in the face with paper-thin bonus features. Basically, unless you saw this film in the theater and it changed your life, it’s only a rental for everyone else.

SCORES (Out of 5):

The Movie: 2.5

Video: 4.0

Sound: 4.0

Extras: 2.0

Bottom Line: 2.5